We are all searching for who we really are.
The confusion arises when we mis-identify our nature with transient experiences and states of mind that continuously change. This keeps the quest of searching for the Self alive and the mind given a task that it can never fulfill; therefore, residing in a state of bondage. The path can often be a steady uncovering of the conditioned mental programming or no path at all, for the nature is already free and enlightened.
I'm Tanis Fishman. While I call Calgary home, I travel the world studying the science and spirituality of expanded states of consciousness. I work with open-minded seekers in groups and private guidance sessions
I was raised an athlete; a Canadian National ski team member. Needless to say, my training was intense and my discipline left little room for self-exploration. As a child I remember feeling frustrated, like I got off at the wrong stop in time and space. My body felt dense, heavy, and confusing. My curiosity was infinite and while I felt a devotion to quench my spiritual thirst, I found it near impossible to break from the momentum of my choices and the expectations of family, friends, coaches, and goals.
This all changed when i left my body.
At age 19, I was involved in a devastating car accident that left one of my best friends severely injured. And me...with barely a scratch. Beforehand, I had a premonition of what was about to happen. During, I had what some might call an out of body experience. I could see the entire scene of the accident, on the physical realm unfolding before me, yet I was in a different state of consciousness, observing it all. This profound experience provided me with the teachings of our soul. It helped me understand there are many dimensions to our existence and the limited ego reality is only specific to the human, physical realm of form and matter.
Afterwards, I could no longer connect with the concept of competition (which did not serve my skiing career...at all:). Instead, I felt a depth of compassion that translated as a profound love for humanity. It became unfathomable to compete with my friends as I had been awakened to a reality that is detached from identifying with the stories of the ego self.
Needless to say, I knew I couldn't continue racing anymore. With divine grace, I tore my ACL a few weeks later, blessed the experience, and closed that door...so others could open.
I decided to explore the world and the wisdom teachings I had craved for so long.
A few years & journeys later, I was in India—at a meditation retreat.
One afternoon, as I walked down the road—soaking in my surroundings—my awareness fixed on a nearby cow. What happened next is hard to believe, but I can only describe it like this...
I exploded into pure consciousness.
It was completely different from my previous out of body experience—where I was still aware of my individual self. It shattered all previous concepts of what I believed to be real. This time I was a frequency in the energetic field of all vibration. I was no-one. I was no where. Yet I was everyone. I was everywhere. I was part of a web of energy, completely joined and connected to the cow, the trees, the road, the spaciousness all around. Everything was the same and I was pulsing with it.
The essence of this experience was pure benevolent love. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. In fact, it's difficult to do attempt and describe it with words.
Nothing was separate to me. I loved the road, the cow, the trees and when I saw other humans again I realized all I wanted to do was love them. All I wanted to do was love.
This state of consciousness lasted four days. I neither slept nor ate. I was in a pure state of wakefulness—in love with all creation. Every moment prior to my explosion felt like a dream. Like my senses had been asleep.
Because I didn't understand what had happened to me, I found it impossible to talk about.
In fact, I kept quiet about it for 15 years.
Why did this happen to me?
Why couldn't this be a permanent state?
Why was I able to experience the freedom of limitless, loving energy only to be squished back into my physical body with my human emotions and conditioned, ego-based thought patterns?
I craved to feel it again. I prayed. I begged. I bargained.
And then I accepted the lesson.
I had been given those four days in India so I could absolutely know it exists, and also to understand that even though I believed this profound experience to be a realization of WHO I AM, it was still within the realm of experience and I still longed to know the Truth. That which is unchanging and eternal.
Oddly enough, our bouts of confusion, chaos, hopelessness, and lower mind tendencies and behaviours contain valuable little lessons. When the bondage of mind becomes so obvious, and you see the consequences of the minds personal investment in the play of duality, then the greatest question of all may arise...Who am I?
I'm a guide for people who are open and willing to see beyond the conditions of mind
You don't need to be a master yogi or spiritually enlightened person to transform your engrained conditioning and connect with the wisest part of yourself - where your perspective is not limited by stress or circumstance.
Through my teachings and meditation guidance, I help all kinds of people understand they are not the limited selves they assumed they were.
YOU ARE NOT:
the content of your thoughts
the instability of your emotions
the busyness of your mind
the judgements of your past
the quirks of your personality
When these are the basis for your reality, you make limited choices that feel
compressed and constricted in your relationships, career, and life.
I provide guidance and techniques to help people quiet the mind, relax the body, shift brain states, and expand awareness as they connect with the peace, stillness, and wisdom that is always available to them.
Our life's journey is our path
There are infinite paths
But only one way
I love this work because there is nothing more amazing than seeing a person completely shift the way they experience life. I've seen students trapped in their stories and patterns dismantle and release them in ways that surprised them. Ways they didn't think were possible because they believed, that's just the way I am.
With simple guidance and practice, my students and clients learn new ways of connecting with a more authentic truth of who they are...which changes absolutely everything.
"Truth is radical subjectivity. With the collapse of the illusions of duality, including the supposed 'reality' of a separate 'self', there remains only the state of the Infinite 'I', which is the manifestation of the Unmanifest as the Self. There is neither subject nor object. Like infinite space, there is no distance, time, duration, or locality. All prevails simultaneously. All is self-evident, self-aware, self-revealing, and total." - David R Hawkins